It has come to this.
After years of warnings, the world has finally succumbed to the scourge of coffee addiction.
The once-blue skies are now a deep shade of grey, a constant reminder of the bitter aftertaste that lingers on.
The once-clear rivers are now a murky brown, clogged with the discarded coffee grounds of the damned.
The once-peaceful forests are now eerily silent, as if the very trees themselves have been drained of their essence by the constant drip of coffee-fueled existential dread.
The people, once productive and alert, now stumble about with zombie-like gait, their eyes sunken and their skin sallow from lack of sleep.
We gather here today to discuss the next steps in this, our darkest hour.
Will we find a way to reclaim our world, or will we succumb to the all-consuming abyss of fatigue?
Only time - and a decent cup of coffee - will tell.
Stay caffeinated, friends.