Today, on this most calamitous of dates, the prophets of doom gathered at the local coffee shop to share their apocalyptic predictions.
“The year 2024 shall be the year of the Great Pizza Overload. The cheese shall runneth amok, and the sauce shall flood the streets.”
Read McGee's full prophecy“The skies shall be filled with flying toaster bread. The world shall be a crumbly mess, and the only way to survive shall be to don a pair of galoshes.”
Read Zorvath's full prophecy“The world shall be consumed by an endless loop of elevator music. The only escape shall be to find the hidden button, and press it, and press it, and press it...”
Read Xarath's full prophecySome of the lesser-known prophets of doom have spoken out against the gathered prophecies, calling them “a bunch of hooey” and “a load of malarkey”. We'll be keeping a close eye on these naysayers...
Read more about the prophets in disagreement