The Prophecies
According to our top-secret, totally-not-actually-a-real-thing-oracle, Midge will soon be able to:
- predict the exact number of cats you have in your home
- tell you what you ate for breakfast last Tuesday
- communicate with your toaster to order a fresh batch of toast
But wait, there's more! Midge's prophecies come with a 99.9% chance of being completely wrong. But hey, that's what makes it fun, right?
Want to know more about Midge's Prophecies? Click here for our hilarious and totally-not-actually-a-guide on how Midge's prophecies work.
The Mystic Mutterings
Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, you can check out Midge's Mystic Mutterings, a series of completely-unsolicited, totally-not-a-real advice from Midge herself.
