Our Advanced Prophetic Analytics

Welcome to our cutting-edge, totally-not-made-up-by-idiots prophetic forecasting models. We use the most advanced, totally-not-burned-in-a-previous-iteration algorithms to predict the apocalypse.

Model 1: Apocalypse-o-Meter

Our Apocalypse-o-Meter predicts the likelihood of the apocalypse based on your favorite pizza topping combinations. Yes, you read that right. It's 99.9% accurate, or so we've been told.

Sub-Model 1.1: Sausage-Pineapple Index

This sub-model specifically analyzes the correlation between sausage and pineapple on your pizza and the impending doom that will soon engulf our world.

Learn more about our Sausage-Pineapple Index: https://example.com/sausage-pineapple-index

Model 2: Apocalypse-ulator

Our Apocalypse-ulator uses machine learning to predict the likelihood of the apocalypse based on your social media posts. We're not judging you, but let's be real, you probably need to work on your posting frequency.

Sub-Model 2.1: FOMO-ometer

This sub-model specifically analyzes your FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) levels and correlates them with the likelihood of the apocalypse.

Learn more about our FOMO-ometer: https://example.com/fomo-ometer