Welcome, fellow seekers of enlightenment. In this esteemed text, we shall guide you through the hallowed halls of Advanced Quaker Practices, specifically Step One: Quantum Quiet Time.
In this sacred ritual, you will learn to harness the power of quantum entanglement to achieve a state of perfect stillness, unencumbered by the petty distractions of the material realm.
Step One: Quantum Quiet Time is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, discipline, and an unwavering commitment to the principles of Quaker mysticism.
To begin, find a quiet, isolated space, free from the din of the world. Sit comfortably, with your back straight and your mind open.
Now, close your eyes and focus your intent. Visualize the quantum fluctuations in the cosmic microwave background radiation. Feel the vibrations of the universe, and let go of your attachments to the fleeting world.
As you sit, a gentle breeze stirs the hairs on your arms. Your senses are transported to a realm beyond the mundane. You are one with the Quantum Quakers.
Next, proceed to Step Two: Quantum Fidgeting to further refine your technique.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Step Two: Quantum Fidgeting with Optional Socks, for an added layer of spiritual complexity.