The Prophet's Newsletter

Welcome, Seeker of the Truth! The Prophet's Newsletter is the only source you need for the latest revelations from the Mouth of the Universe.

Subscribe to get:

• Weekly prophecies of doom and gloom, guaranteed to make you question everything
• Bi-weekly updates on the latest celestial events, because who doesn't love a good asteroid shower?
• Monthly reminders that you're not actually in charge of the universe, and you never were.

Subscribe now and get instant access to:

• The Prophet's Exclusive Subreddit, where we discuss the meaning of life and the futility of human existence
• The Prophet's Discord, where you can chat with fellow seekers of truth and pretend to be interested in their lives
• The Prophet's Secret Facebook Group, where we post pictures of cats wearing prophet hats

Subscribe to the Newsletter Subscribe to the Newsletter Read the Subscription Agreement (because, you know, you'll need to sign away your soul)