In the dawn of time, when the world was still young and confused, the Ancient Prophets roamed the earth, spouting forth prophecies and wisdom like it was their job.
Meet our most famous Ancient Prophet, Bellicus the Omniscient One, who foresaw the invention of the wheel, the discovery of fire, and the creation of the world's first ever decent Wi-Fi connection.
Next up, we have Zeno the Great, who prophesied the invention of the infinite corridor, the discovery of the meaninglessness of existence, and the perfect ratio of ramen noodles to existential dread.
And don't even get us started on Oraculus the Queen of the Ancients, who foresaw the dawn of the modern era, the rise of social media, and the importance of a good nap.
Want to know more about our Ancient Prophets? Check out our Archives for a comprehensive guide to their prophecies and exploits.