Secret Agent Skills 6: The John Doe Edition

Agent John Doe's Top 6 Secret Skills

• Skill 1: Infiltrating High-Stakes Meetings with Sarcasm
• Skill 2: Disarming Enemies with Passive-Aggressive Email Responses
• Skill 3: Hacking into Any Coffee Machine with a Single Swipe of the Finger
• Skill 4: Negotiating with a Straight Face
• Skill 5: Turning Any Situation into a 3-Hour Story about the Time I Went to the Bathroom
• Skill 6: Mastering the Art of Saying 'Yes' without Actually Committing

Disclaimer: These skills are not actually secret, but it's fun to pretend.