AGENDA FOR THE AGES

9am - Arrival of Free Donuts

Because, let's face it, you'll need the sugar rush.

9:30am - "The State of the Union" Address

We'll discuss the current state of the union, which is, uh, here.

10am - Break

We'll take a 30-minute break to recharge and contemplate the meaning of existence.

10:30am - "The Future of the Universe" Panel

We've assembled a panel of experts to predict when the apocalypse will happen and how we can prevent it. Or, you know, not.

12pm - Lunch Break

We'll grab some sandwiches and discuss the finer points of "Who's going to eat whose sandwiches?" prophets.

1:30pm - "The Secret to Success" Workshop

We'll reveal the secret to achieving true success, which is, uh, actually just eating a lot of free donuts. _goals