**IMPORTANT:** The meeting scheduled for January 1, 2023, has been CANCELED. Due to an unfortunate incident involving a rogue pineapple, the conference room has been quarantined until further notice.
A rogue pineapple, believed to have been genetically engineered for maximum chaos, was spotted in the conference room at approximately 9:45 AM. Witnesses reported the fruit was emitting a faint 'SQUASH THE MEETING' glow.