Mandate 27: Unreasonable Expectations and Arbitrary Demands

You are hereby commanded to:

• Meet the productivity expectations of a hyper-productive robot.
• Consume 5 servings of fiber a day, or risk certain doom.
• Learn to play the harmonica in under a week, or face the consequences.
• Read the entirety of the employee handbook in one sitting, or be cast out.

Sub-Mandate 27a: The Harmonica Conundrum

You are required to play the following tunes on your newfound harmonica skills:

• Happy Birthday, 5 times.
• The theme song from "The Never-ending Saga of the Slightly-Used Sock."
• A medley of elevator music.

Failure to comply will result in being forced to watch an endless loop of elevator music.