Welcome to Financial Literacy for the Utterly Confused

This is a comprehensive guide for individuals who have never seen a budget in their life. Don't worry, it's not as painful as it sounds.

Chapter 1: The Basics

Financial Literacy 101: Understanding the difference between income and expenses.

Income: The amount of money you receive, usually through a job or inheritance.

Expenses: The amount of money you squander on unnecessary things, like video games and cat memes.

Chapter 2: The 50/30/20 Rule

Cut the crap and follow the 50/30/20 rule: 50% of your income for living expenses, 30% for fun stuff, and 20% for saving.

Or, if you're feeling extra ambitious, 100% for living expenses and 0% for fun stuff.

Chapter 3: Investment Strategies

Investing is like throwing money into a pit of despair, but with better returns.

Buy low, sell high, and pray to the financial gods.

Chapter 4: Credit Scores

Credit scores are like a report card for your financial behavior.

Don't mess up, or you'll end up with a score so low it'll take you years to recover.

And that's it! Congratulations, you're now financially literate.

Or, at least, you know the basics.