Resolution 1: We, the undersigned, hereby resolve to purchase the most expensive brand of stapler known to humanity, the "Staple-Mega-Tron 5000" for the purposes of corporate synergy and team-building.

• Point #2: This decision was reached after an exhaustive 30-minute discussion, during which we consumed 17 packets of stale coffee and 3 boxes of donuts.
• Point #3: The Staple-Mega-Tron 5000 is expected to last 17.4 seconds longer than our current stapler, thereby saving the company an estimated 4.2 minutes per year.

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