Item 1: The Coffee Machine is Broken Again
The coffee machine in the break room has stopped dispensing actual coffee, and instead has begun spewing forth a bitter, burnt smell into the air. We will investigate and assign blame.
- Check the machine's user manual, because apparently it's not just a simple matter of pressing a few buttons.
- Consult the IT department, because they're always good for a laugh.
- Replace the coffee machine with a new one that doesn't have the word "espresso" printed on it in Comic Sans.
Item 2: John's Joke Has Been Heard Before
John has told the same joke for the third time this week, and we're starting to think he's just phoning it in.
- Tell John to stop telling the same joke, because it's not funny the third time around.
- Offer John a participation trophy, because that's what we're all about.
- Fire John, but only after he's been properly trained to fill out his exit paperwork.
Item 3: The Meeting is Running Late
We're running behind schedule, and it's time to get down to business.
- Fire the meeting organizer, because they're clearly incompetent.
- Call an audible and move the meeting to the break room, because that's where the snacks are.
- Just wing it and pretend like we're all just casually strolling in.