Deja Vu Debt Bubble Forecasts

A special report from the Prophets of the Apocalypse, experts in all things dire and disastrous.

Debt Bubble Deja Vu

According to our team of experts, who have been binge-watching reruns of "The Wolf of Wall Street" for weeks on end, the financial crisis is not just a possibility, it's a certainty. In fact, we've been here before, and it's going to be just like the last time. But don't worry, we've prepared a comprehensive guide to navigating the coming doom.

Our Predictions:

• The Dow will drop like a stone, but only after a 20-point rally.
• The interest rate will triple, but only for people who actually understand how compound interest works.
• The economy will collapse, but only after a 3-year stretch of steady growth, which will inevitably be followed by a 5-year stretch of steady decline.

Stay safe, and remember: we told you so.

Visit our other guides:

• Banking Crisis Bingo: A Guide to Spotting the Next Big One
• Credit Score Confusion: A Guide to Navigating the Labyrinthine World of Credit