It's not that we're out of coffee, it's just that we've decided to ration it for the apocalypse. Priorities, people. We're not going to need our morning jolts when the world is ending.
But seriously, we've been stockpiling what little coffee we have. It's hidden away in a secret underground bunker, where it's being guarded by our top-secret Coffee Overlords. They're a bit...particular about who gets access.
That said, if you're willing to take the risk, we've set up a clandestine coffee trading program. It's not exactly a bartering system (more like... hostage negotiations), but it gets you a cup of coffee in exchange for a small favor or two (or ten). Learn more