It is with great shock and horror that we announce the sudden departure of our CEO, who left the building without warning or explanation, leaving behind a trail of unanswered questions and a conference room full of half-eaten Cinnabon pastries.
We are currently trying to piece together the events leading up to this unexpected exit, but all we know so far is that the CEO was seen fleeing the building in a bright pink jumpsuit, shouting "I'm free at last!"
We have set up a hotline for employees to report any information they may have about the sudden departure: 1-800-CEO-GONE. Please call us with any tips or clues, and we'll do our best to track down the missing leader.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.
Wow, that was totally unexpected.
- John, Marketing