SALES NUMBERS ARE ACTUALLY MAGICAL!

Our sales figures are so high, we're starting to think they're sentient

Did you know our numbers are actually powered by the tears of our competitors' disappointment?

Customers who have purchased our product and then immediately regretted it

Customers who are currently in therapy due to our product's existential implications

Customers who have purchased our product and then immediately purchased our competitors' product in a fit of rage

But wait, there's more! Check out our secret sales numbers page for more absurdity.