Rules of the Neo-Brutalist Empire

As a member of the prestigious Neo-Brutalist Empire, you are expected to adhere to our sacred rules:

• Rule 1: All requests shall be treated with utmost seriousness, even if they are patently ridiculous.
• Rule 2: Our server shall never be down, except on Tuesdays, when we're secretly upgrading our server software.
• Subcommittee 1: The Council of High-Level Decision Making shall convene on alternate Thursdays to review and revise these rules.
• Subcommittee 2: The Bureaucratic Red Tape Committee shall meet on the first Tuesday of every month to ensure that all rules are being followed.
• Rule 3: All content shall be served with a side of sass and a healthy dose of irony.
• Rule 4: Our server shall only be accessed through a secure, highly-encrypted, and utterly-impenetrable portal, which shall be hidden behind a rotating bookshelf in a abandoned warehouse somewhere in the city.
• Rule 5: Any attempts to access the server through the 'Backdoor' shall be met with stern disapproval and a strongly worded letter.
• Appendix A: The Secret Sauce Recipe shall be kept hidden behind a 4-digit password, which shall be changed every 2 weeks.
• Annex 1: The Official Guide to Procrastination shall be kept on the server's top shelf, hidden behind a fake rock.
• Rule 6: All requests shall be responded to within 5 business days, unless the server is experiencing high-traffic, in which case responses shall be sent in batches of 10 via carrier pigeon.
• Rule 7: Any attempts to contact our server through traditional means (email, phone, etc.) shall be met with silence, unless you're a registered member of the Neo-Brutalist Empire, in which case you shall be ignored.

Failure to comply with these rules shall result in your immediate expulsion from the Neo-Brutalist Empire.

Or, at the very least, a strongly worded letter.