By the authority vested in me, Timekeeper of the Realms of Chronos, I hereby declare:
Article 1: I shall keep the clocks ticking, no matter the time zone.
Article 2: I shall not be swayed by the whims of mortal men, nor the whims of cats in hats.
Article 3: I shall maintain the precise and unyielding march of the minutes, seconds, and hours.
Appendix: The Timekeeper's Guide to Time Zones Revision History: A Record of Timekeeper's Amendments