Our Own Private John's Resolution of Resolution

For the year 2020, we have resolved to:

Drink more coffee, and only eat food that is 90% or higher on the Scoville scale.
Attend at least 3 meetings a week, and make sure to bring our own chair.
Learn to play the trombone, and only listen to jazz music while doing so.
Write a novel in 30 days, and have it published in the Our Own Private John's Literary Magazine.
Cook a new recipe every day, and only use ingredients that start with the letter "Q".
Run a 4-minute mile, and only wear socks with a 4:1 ratio of stripes to dots.