Prophets of the Apocalypse: Available for Consultations

Meet our team of experts in the field of totally-not-bogus predictions!

Are you tired of making decisions based on facts and reality? Do you want to tap into the wisdom of our team of prophets, who have been trained in the art of making stuff up on a grand scale?

Subpage 1: "The Future is Not Nostalgic" - Our take on the best retro-futurism predictions Subpage 2: "A Brief History of Our Bizarrely Accurate Prophecies" - A look at our successes and failures

Call us today to schedule your appointment with a prophet. We'll be happy to... well, not exactly predict the future, but we'll definitely make something up!

Consult a Prophet Today!

Prophet's Rate: $50 per minute, $500 per hour, $5000 for the whole apocalypse