Meetings are always the worst, and today was no exception. Our fearless leader, Prophet 5, had called us all to discuss the impending apocalypse.
As we all gathered around the conference table, Prophet 5 rose from the shadows, his eyes blazing with an otherworldly intensity.
"My children," he began, "the signs are clear: the skies are filled with chemtrails, the oceans are rising, and the coffee is cold."
We all looked on in terror as he continued, "We must prepare for the coming reckoning, for when the end times arrive, only the most prepared shall survive."
"But, Prophet 5, sir," one of the newer prophets interrupted, "what about the cat cafe that just opened down the street?"
Prophet 5 glared at the interloper, his eyes flashing with disdain. "The cat cafe, you numbskull, is a distraction. A mere mortal pleasure. Focus, I say, FOCUS! FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!"
Survival Tips for the coming apocalypse, Doomsday Scenario Planning and Chemtrail Theories can be found in our archives.