Our company's latest sales pitch is a doozy, folks! After weeks of research, we've pinpointed the root of all our problems: The dreaded "Coffee Machine of Doom" has been draining our productivity.
It's a behemoth of a machine, a behemoth that has been sucking the life out of us with its constant beeping, its incessant need for maintenance, and its unrelenting demands for more coffee beans. We need to tackle this beast head-on and find a solution, lest we all succumb to its evil clutches.
Next Phase: Phase 3 - Identify Cause
Disclaimer: This is a highly classified, super-secret sales pitch. Don't tell anyone what we're up to, or we'll deny it.