Welcome, esteemed members of the Council of Pizza Philosophers! Today, we tackle the most contentious issue of our time. Is pineapple on pizza an affront to the very fabric of reality, or a noble experiment in topping innovation? We've gathered here to weigh the arguments and render a verdict.
Arguments For:
- Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, Ph.D. in Pizza Dynamics: "Pineapple's sweetness provides a delightful contrast to the savory flavors of cheese and meat. It's a harmonious union, a symphony of taste buds!"
- Professor Emily P. Topping, Expert in Fruity Affairs: "Pineapple's juiciness adds a welcome moisture to the dry, crispy crust. It's a refreshing respite from the usual monotony of toppings!"
Arguments Against:
- Senator John P. Sausage, Defender of the Ancients Ways: "Pineapple's presence is a sacrilege, a travesty that sullies the good name of pizza! It's an affront to tradition, a slap in the face of culinary heritage!"
- Mr. James P. Pepperoni, Spokesperson for the Peppered Resistance: "Pineapple's bitter flavor overpowers the delicate balance of pepperoni's spicy kick. It's a travesty, a catastrophe!"