Agenda Item 3: "The Inflated Expectations of Management"

Presented by: John, Director of Disappointment

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Key Points:

Set unrealistic targets for team members.
Expect them to be met with enthusiasm, not despair.
Conduct surprise performance reviews at 3 AM.

Action Items:

Reassess expectations based on reality.
Provide emotional support to those crushed by the system.
Establish a "No Surprise Performance Reviews" union chapter.