Meeting of Doom, February 1, 2022

Agenda for the meeting that nobody wants to attend:

1. Introduce yourself to the conference table

You will be forced to tell everyone your name, job title, and a fun fact about yourself that has nothing to do with work.

Example: "Hi, I'm Bob. I'm the manager of sales. Oh, and I once ate 17 tacos in one sitting."

2. Present your "vision for the future of the company"

Write a 5-page essay on how you plan to make the company rich and powerful, but with a twist: every time you mention "synergy" or "disrupt the market", you have to take a shot of tequila.

See shot schedule to plan your drinking game

Taste the tequila

3. Discuss the company picnic

We will discuss the finer points of who ate all the sandwiches, who wore the wrong socks, and who got lost in the park.

See picnic incident report