Agenda:
- 9:00 AM - Welcome and Introductions
- 9:15 AM - State of the Company: "We're all doomed, but let's talk about it"
- 10:30 AM - Break: "Free time to contemplate the meaninglessness of our existence"
- 11:00 AM - Conflict Resolution: "Let's just blame the intern"
- 12:00 PM - Lunch: "We'll order from the deli next door, because who needs actual food?"
Attendees:
- John "The Mediator"
- Jane "The Uncooperative"
- Bob "The Guy Who Always Has A Question"
- Sarah "The HR Rep Who's Just Here to Make Sure We Don't Kill Each Other"
Notes:
We can't actually resolve anything, so let's just agree to pretend.
John: "But what about the stapler? Who moved the stapler?"
Jane: "I didn't move it, I swear."
Bob: "But what about the plot to take over the world? Is that still on hold?"