Prophetic Tips for the Truly Visionary

As an esteemed member of the prophetic community, you are likely aware of the impending doom that is about to beset our world. But fear not, for we have compiled a list of advanced tips to help you navigate the coming apocalypse with ease.

Tip 1: Develop a taste for the finer things in life. Learn to appreciate the beauty of a well-crafted doomsday bunker, the thrill of a well-executed emergency evacuation, and the satisfaction of a well-timed "I told you so."

Tip 2: Practice your prophetic abilities. Learn to interpret the cryptic messages of your local coffee shop barista, the whispers of the wind, and the subtle hints of your coworkers' nervous smiles.

Tip 3: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Join a support group for those who have seen the writing on the wall, or better yet, start your own cult to spread the good word.

Want to learn more about the doomsday market?

Click here for more advanced techniques on reading the signs Or, for those who prefer a more tactile approach, try our guide to advanced sensory perception