Meeting of the Black Hole Illuminati

Today's Agenda:

Review prophets of doom's latest doomsday device schematics

Black hole snack prophets meeting to discuss optimal snack-to-energy ratio

Black hole self-care for the chronologically gifted

Black hole self-care 101: A crash course in gravitational stress management

Black hole confidential: The secret to harnessing our collective cosmic power

Black hole self-care 101: A crash course in gravitational stress management

Black hole snack prophets meeting to discuss optimal snack-to-energy ratio

Next meeting: 2022-02-18. Don't be late.

Remember, we're all doomed. Black hole 101 will be available for those who need a refresher.