BioSym 9000: The Symposium for the Discerning Biologist

Where the most esteemed members of the scientific community gather to discuss their findings, and by "esteemed" we mean " slightly above average".

Welcome, esteemed guests, to BioSym 9000! We're glad you could join us for an afternoon of mildly interesting talks, and possibly a few moderately contentious debates.

Keynote Speakers:

• Dr. Preston: "The Ethics of Stem Cell Research, or How Not to Get Fired"
• Prof. Pembleton: "The Importance of Proper Laboratory Hygiene, or Why You Should Never Share Your Petri Dishes"

Sessions:

• Bio-Optics: "The Science of Making Your Lab Goggles Look Cool"
• Cell Culture: "Why Your Petri Dishes Should Never Be Left Unattended"
• Genomics-Gone-Wrong: "The Art of Accidentally Discovering New Life Forms"

And that's just the beginning! Don't forget to check out our participant list to see who else is joining us.

Also, don't try to escape the venue. We're watching you.

Best, The BioSym 9000 Organizing Committee

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Disclaimer: We're not actually watching you, but our lawyers are on the clock.