We gathered here today to commemorate another year of barely scraping by. Our award for Best Performance this year goes to... (drumroll) ...the IT department for somehow, miraculously, not completely crashing the system.
Congratulations to the team for their tireless efforts to not set off the fire alarm. And, of course, our beloved CEO for their innovative approach to "motivating" us through passive-aggressive memos.
Stay tuned for our next meeting, when we'll be celebrating our "best" practices and discussing the importance of "synergy"!