We've been having meetings for years, and let's be real, we're still not sure why. But here's a summary of last year's accomplishments:
- We spent 12 hours discussing the meaning of life, and concluded that it's just a series of poorly made PowerPoint decks.
- We successfully avoided eye contact with the CEO for 37 meetings.
- We achieved a 99% rate of nodding off during presentations, with a new high of 12 meetings straight.
- We perfected the art of making passive-aggressive comments during group discussions, with a 100% success rate of making everyone else's skin crawl.
- We celebrated our 5-year-iversary of doing nothing productive.
Looking ahead, we're excited to announce that this year's goals include:
- Setting a new record for most hours spent staring at a whiteboard.
- Creating a comprehensive guide to the art of doing nothing.
- Developing a new system for tracking our lack of progress.
- Hostilely taking over the world, one meeting at a time.
For more information on how to join our illustrious team of non-doers, visit /meetings/jobs