Prophecies and Omens

The Meeting of the Ancient Ones has convened to share the most dire and absurd portents for the modern world.

According to the venerable Oracle of the Sink, the world shall soon be overrun with:

• Self-driving toaster carts
• Robot overlords with an affinity for 80s pop music
• A global shortage of avocado toast

But wait, there's more! The Great Oracle also foretells of:

A mysterious item found in the depths of the fridge, said to hold the power to grant the eater an unending supply of free pizza.

Or perhaps, the Oracle spoke of:

The Ancient Spoon of Doom, said to have the power to stir the most potent of brews.