When attending a meeting, please arrive on time, or at the latest, 5 minutes after the scheduled start. If you are more than 10 minutes late, you will be forced to wear a "LATECOMER" badge for the duration of the meeting. This badge will be displayed prominently on your forehead, and will serve as a reminder of your lack of punctuality.
When departing, please do not linger in the conference room for more than 10 seconds after the meeting has concluded. Failure to do so will result in being escorted out by security, who will be armed with Nerf guns.
Please keep your voice volume at a reasonable level. If you are having a heated discussion, please relocate to the designated "DISCUSSION ZONE" in the corner of the room. This zone will be marked by a large, flashing "DO NOT ENTER" sign.
When addressing the group, please refer to others by their preferred title (e.g. "esteemed colleagues", "honorable chairperson", "esteemed intern"). Failure to do so will result in a stern lecture on the importance of proper address.
Please make sure your contributions are relevant to the topic at hand. If you are found to be off-topic more than three times, you will be forced to listen to a PowerPoint presentation on the history of the meeting.
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