MEETING SCHEDULE: Project "Epic Fail" Status Report

Current Status:

• Monday: Delayed due to excessive procrastination
• Tuesday: Postponed indefinitely due to "creative differences" among team members
• Wednesday: Actually happening, but nobody showed up
• Thursday: On hold due to unexpected coffee machine malfunction
• Friday: Projected to be completed on Monday

Upcoming Meetings:

• Future Meetings (including "The Meeting After Next" and "The Meeting That Will Never Happen")