Backup Plan 1: The Apocalypse Date Set

Also known as "The Plan for the Unprepared", this is the first in our series of comprehensive backup plans for the impending apocalypse.

Step 1: Gather Supplies

• 1.1: Water: Collect 100 gallons of water, preferably not from the nearby toxic waste dump.
• 1.2: Non-Perishable Food: Scrounge up 5 years worth of non-expired canned goods, preferably not expired in 2020.
• 1.3: First Aid Kit: Get a medical kit with a minimum of 20 Band-Aids, 10 Epi-Pens, and a bottle of hand sanitizer that still has not expired (good luck with that).

Step 2: Secure a Safe Haven

Acquire a sturdy bunker or a well-protected safe house, preferably with a functioning toilet and a reliable internet connection.

Step 3: Prepare for the Worst

• 3.1: Create a "Worst Case Scenario" playlist with a 10-hour mix of heavy metal and elevator music.
• 3.2: Develop a "Survival Skills" course, covering topics such as "How to start a fire without matches" and "Basic knife fighting techniques for when the zombies come."
• 3.3: Learn the art of "Extreme Crochet": the art of making doilies while simultaneously fighting off marauders.

Next Steps:

Stay tuned for the next installment of our comprehensive backup plan, where we'll cover the importance of having a reliable supply of catnip and a well-maintained 3D printer for printing essential post-apocalyptic items.

Plan 2: The Feline Edition