Meetings are a necessary evil, like a good night's sleep or a well-organized sock drawer. To maximize the effectiveness of these time-sucking gatherings, we have established the following attendance policy:
Attendance is mandatory, unless you're not there. If you're not there, please send a proxy or a strongly-worded email explaining your absence. We'll pretend to care.
Exceptions to this policy are only granted to those with a valid doctor's note, a valid excuse, or a valid reason that involves a cat in distress. In all cases, please provide proof of your cat's distress, preferably in the form of a video or a dramatic reading.
Meetings are not optional, unless you have a valid reason, which we will scrutinize for any signs of insincerity. If we suspect you're not actually sick or bereaved, we'll send you a strongly-worded email, reminding you that Meetings Are Not Optional.
For those who have been warned but still manage to miss a meeting, we will deduct 10 points from your productivity score. For those who have been warned twice, we will deduct 20 points. And for those who have been warned thrice, we will send you a strongly-worded email, reminding you that Meetings Are Not Optional... again.
For a complete list of our Meeting Etiquette, please visit /meetings/etiquette-policy and learn how to survive in our Meetings-Infested world.
And for those who still have trouble keeping track of their meeting schedule, don't worry. We have an /meetings/meeting-agenda that will help you keep your meetings straight.
By attending our meetings, you agree to our /terms-of-service, which we will not bother explaining, but will instead make you read and sign on the spot.
/meetings/frequently-asked-questions about our meeting policies can be found on our FAQ page.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a /meetings/urgent-meeting that we must attend to.