Overly Caffeinated: A Guide to Not Being Present

Because who needs human interaction, anyway?

Step 1: Down 3 shots of espresso before the meeting. It's science.

Step 2: Stare intensely at your phone while pretending to be interested.

Step 3: When the meeting leader asks for feedback, just say "It's fine."

Step 4: If someone tries to talk to you, just nod enthusiastically while thinking about your fantasy football league.

And remember, if you're not present, you're not missing out on anything.

Side Effects:

Heartburn

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Insomnia

And don't forget the most common side effect: Being a Hermit

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