html Attendance Policy: Because We Care (But Not Really)

Meetings: Where Attendance is Optional but Attendance Policy is Mandatory

Consequences of Not Attending Meetings

Because we care about you, but not really, we've put together some consequences for not attending meetings.

Warning: Do not attempt to avoid meeting attendance unless you enjoy being yelled at by our manager.

Consequences may include:

Being forced to watch an endless loop of our company's 3-hour sales video on YouTube.
Having your coffee mug taken away (just kidding, we don't really have any coffee mugs).
Being assigned an extra 5 projects to work on, all due tomorrow.

For those who dare not attend, we'll have our trusty meeting minute taker (our intern) record your name and any notable excuses.

Attendance policy subject to change without notice, or at all, because who needs notice, right?

Side effects of this policy may include: headaches, dizziness, and existential dread.