Dr. Evans' 2020 Award Acceptance Speech
"Wow, I'm thrilled to accept this award, not just because it's a shiny object on a shelf, but because it represents the culmination of years of hard work and dedication to the field of biology.
As a biotechnician, I've always been fascinated by the intricacies of cellular respiration and the wonders of photosynthesis.
But little did I know that my true calling was to make award acceptance speeches that are 20 minutes too long and filled with tangential anecdotes about my cat.
I'd like to thank my cat, Mr. Whiskers, for his unwavering support and for always keeping me on my toes – or should I say, on my chair, while I'm giving this speech.
To my fellow biologists, I say, let's keep pushing the boundaries of human knowledge, even if it means spending hours on end in the lab, staring at petri dishes and wondering where it's all going.
And to my competitors, I say, don't be too proud of yourselves – after all, I'm standing here with this award, and you're still trying to figure out how to use your pipettes.
Thank you, and remember, folks, science is all about the thrill of discovery, the agony of defeat, and the utter confusion of trying to read your grant proposals.