Attendee Bribery and Lobbying Coaching Results - 42nd Meeting

Welcome, attendees, to the most productive meetings ever!

Our Results:

• Decided on the best pizza topping to bribe the CEO with: Anchovies
• Agreed to lobby for 5 more vacation days off, because who doesn't love a good nap?
• Coached the team on how to properly use the company credit card for personal expenses
• Set a new record for most meetings attended with a hangover, 12 meetings in one day!
• Discovered the secret password to the copier room, now known as the "Caffeine Sanctuary"
• Decided to start a book club for reading company policy manuals, because who doesn't love a good thrill?

Next Meeting:

• Next meeting: 1 hour and 42 minutes from now, in the same room (because why change a good thing?)
• Brainstorming Department: Ideas We Should Never Implement
• Decision Point of No Return: Committees We Love to Hate