Important: Do Not Bore Us
As a valued attendee of our esteemed event, we are pleased to inform you that our bribing department will be in touch with you soon, with an assortment of offers too enticing to refuse!
Our team of skilled negotiators is committed to ensuring that your contractual obligations are met in the most... let's say, 'creative' manner.
We will be in contact with you via our state-of-the-art, heavily-encrypted messaging system. Please do not reply to these messages unless you are prepared to negotiate.