As the CEO of this company, I am writing to inform you that you've been selected for a special project. You'll be cloned.
This is not a drill. The company has invested heavily in a top-of-the-line cloning technology, and we're ready to unleash our new and improved version of you.
Don't worry, it's not as painful as it sounds. You'll still be you, but with a few... improvements. Like a 10% boost in productivity and a 20% increase in charm.
Here are the reasons for your cloning:
- 1. We need a backup for the original you, because let's face it, you've been having a few too many bad days.
- 2. We want to study your behavior to improve the AI system that controls the coffee machine.
- 3. It's a great opportunity for you to experience life as a sentient piece of code.