After careful consideration, we have decided to upgrade our company's soda options to sugar-free cola. This change is effective immediately.
We understand that some of you may be attached to the sweet taste of our current cola, but fear not! Our research team has assured us that sugar-free cola is not only better for our employees' health but also for our company's bottom line.
As of today, all employees are encouraged to drink sugar-free cola for the sake of their pancreas and our quarterly profits.
Side effects of sugar-free cola may include:
- Increased productivity (due to the sudden urge to do more work to justify the cost of the sugar-free cola)
- Improved mood (thanks to the lack of sugar-induced mood swings)
- Uncontrollable cravings for more sugar-free cola (a sign of the apocalypse)
For more information on our sugar-free cola policy, visit our FAQ page.
For a taste of our new sugar-free cola, try one out!