John's Competence Levels

A comprehensive breakdown of John's skills

Brick-throwing

Expert level 9/10

John can throw a brick with the precision of a Swiss watch and the speed of a hummingbird on Red Bull energy drinks.

Throwing bricks like a pro: Tips and tricks

Coffee drinking

Master level 10/10

John can down a Venti iced quad-shot of Starbucks in under 3 seconds without making a single mistake.

The art of coffee drinking: A tutorial by John

Ninja skills

Novice level 1/10

John can sneak up on a squirrel and scare it, but only from a distance of 10 feet and only if the squirrel is asleep.

Enroll in John's Ninja Training Academy (Coming soon...)