Mike's Competence Levels: A Guide to Not Doing Anything

Mike's Competence Levels

Mike is a master of doing nothing, with a PhD in Procrastination. His competence levels are measured in the following ways:

Mikes shows up, sits in the back, and stares at his phone for 5 minutes before realizing he's not actually doing any work.

Mike manages to make eye contact with his coworkers for a whole 2 minutes without looking at his phone.

Mike remembers to bring donuts for the meeting, but they're not the kind anyone actually likes.

Mike manages to type one whole sentence in a 3-hour meeting without getting distracted by his cat.