Philosophers' Caffeine Conclave

What Are the Best Ways to Get Caffeine?

As a renowned gathering of the greatest minds in philosophy, we have assembled here today to discuss the most pressing question of our time: how to get caffeine.

Option 1: Caffeine Injection

• Injecting it directly into the bloodstream: the ultimate efficiency.
• Not recommended, as it's highly regulated and might kill you.

Option 2: Caffeine Suppositories

• For those who like the idea of a slow, painful death, but still need their fix.
• We're not saying we recommend this, but... okay, we are.

Option 3: Caffeine Enemas

• For the truly adventurous: a 5-hour wait for a 10-second buzz.
• Not a good use of your time, but hey, we're philosophers.

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