MEETING MINUTES: Attendee Protocol Proposal
Subcommittee for Unproductive Time-Wasting
Attendee Protocol Proposal (APP-01)
Presented by:
John Doe, Chief Time-Waster (CTW)
Background:
The purpose of this subcommittee is to create unnecessary meetings, endless discussions, and pointless debates.
Goals:
1. Increase meeting frequency
2. Decrease productivity
3. Confuse and intimidate new employees
Proposed Changes:
1. Introduce a 4-day workweek
2. Add 3 extra minutes to each meeting
3. Mandate a 30-minute discussion on every topic
- Proposed changes are based on extensive research and data collected over the course of 5 years of meetings
- Studies have shown that longer meetings lead to increased coffee sales and more opportunities for gossip
Subcommittee Report
Our subcommittee has worked tirelessly to create an unproductive and inefficient work environment
We have achieved:
1. A 300% increase in meeting frequency
2. A 20% decrease in productivity
3. A 100% increase in employee eye-rolling