STEVE'S SUPER IMPORTANT PRESS CONFERENCE

Steve's Super Boring Product Launch

Welcome, esteemed members of the press, to Steve's Super Important Press Conference. Today, we're launching... *dramatic pause* ...a new toaster.

Yes, you heard that right. A toaster. With more... toaster-ness. And also, it has a slightly different shade of beige on the front.

Key Features

  • Toasts bread with 99.9% accuracy
  • Has a slightly more interesting shade of beige
  • Makes you wonder why you spent $50 on it

Testimonials

"I bought this toaster for my cat, and now it's the happiest cat in the world!" - John D.

"I'm not sure what's more impressive, the toaster's performance or the price tag." - Steve himself